Monday 18 July 2011

The Truman Show: First Draft Parody Script



Opens with Truman wandering around a world where all the information he receives is controlled by one man.

Movie Audience
That would be awful.

Rupert Murdoch
Yes... awful.

Suddenly a light falls out of the sky.

Truman
Whoa suspicious, if that is the trend for the week my life could really get turned upside down.

The cameras follows Truman, with there positions depicting them as part of the set.

Movie Audience
I bet this was tricky to work out. It's great that the film makers are trying something different.

We are shown a shot that couldn't possibly be made on the set.

Movie Audience
Never mind.

We see how boring all of the other characters are. Poor Truman goes home and takes from its hiding place a mock up picture of his true love.

Meryl
You'd think me finding that and getting angry would be more effective than letting him constantly day dream about Sylvia.

We go into a flashback with Carey sporting his Dumb and Dumber look, Marlon looks older than he does in the present. He doesn't moisturise even though he’s an actor?

Marlon
Marlon and Meryl is this show sponsored by M & Ms?

Truman
Shh I'm trying to learn all these interesting facts about the world outside of Sea Haven.

Meryl
We're desperately trying to keep you in this town and they're putting a load of exciting travel trivia in the books? I need a drink.

Sylvia
Hi there out of the thousands of people you've met, I'm the only one who wants to tell you the truth.

Truman
That sounds good. Wait wasn't I eyeing you up at the dance?

Sylvia
Yeah but they decided to risk further contact with me rather than break my contract. As for the truth... the truth... well the truth is out there Truman. Lets just kiss until they can drag me away.

Truman
But it's only one old man, can’t you tell me anything useful before you go?

Sylvia
No, despite my conscience I'm bound by the laws of drama.

Truman gets more and more suspicious and tries to escape by car. Christoph thinks simulating a nuclear disaster is the easiest way to stop him. We wonder why he doesn't use this set space and budget for some fake locations?

Nuclear Technician
Turn around Truman.

Christoph
Idiot. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Nuclear Technician
No! Not now that I'm so near the end.

*****


Meryl
I'm going to try and win back your trust by threatening you with these knives. Costing just $3.99 in all good stores.

Truman
Why are you talking like that?

Meryl
It's this Newspeak, it takes a bit of getting used to.

Truman
O...K

Meryl
That word is no longer valid, 'I see' or 'right', are acceptable alternatives.

Truman
That is it I'm going to threaten you right back.

Meryl
Monster!

*****

Marlon
Truman the last thing I would do is lie to you. Unless everyone else is lying which would mean I am. But don't consider that too much.

Truman
Thanks for clearing that up for me, associating yourself with the 100's of people I don't trust wasn't the smartest move.

Marlon
What do you expect I've been educated by TV.

Truman's Dad
Hello son.

Truman
What? Where have you been all these years?

Truman's Dad
It was all a dream.

Christoph
This is television gold, now fade up the live music.

Musician
I have to do all this music live? But the theme is the same throughout.

Christoph
You're a total light weight, you're fired!

Musician
Thank you for the opportunity, (under his breath) git!

News reels show us the history of the show.

Movie Audience
A baby adopted by a television show? No country that cares about human rights would allow this.

Director Peter Weir
This is set in America which hasn't signed the human rights bill.

Movie Audience
Oh yeah.

News Reader
Along with the great wall of China the set is the only man made object visible from space.

Movie Audience
Most things are visible from space with the right equipment.

News Reader
Don't nitpick, I mean with the naked eye.

Movie Audience
That's a myth.

News Reader
Shut up! I prefer the Truman audience.

Truman Audience
Wow Truman's sleeping we love watching that.

Movie Audience
No viewers could ever be that sad.

*****

Christoph
Our next milestone is an on-screen conception.

Movie Audience
Not very family friendly.

Christoph
Followed by an onscreen birth.

Movie Audience
You've done that already with Truman.

Christoph
Give me a break, I'm just repackaging old ideas as cutting edge. It's what we do.

Truman escapes his house unseen and the entire town turns out to find him. After all being hunted by a mob is bound to make him want to stay.

Christoph
I'm going to kill you Truman. I'm sure the nation won't demand the death penalty for your murder.

Network Boss
You're crazy! How have you held your position so long?

Christoph
You've never toured Fox studios have you?

Truman makes it to the edge of the set and the audience realise that they now respect Jim Carey as an actor.

Christoph
Please please stay.

Truman
I have discovered the truth, destroying the entire point of your show.

Christoph
Perhaps, but every minute you stay makes me more money.

Truman
Hmm money, I wonder what magazine deals I will get? Goodbye.

Truman Audience
Lets see what else is on.

Movie Audience
Yes lets see what else is on.



Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

2 comments:

RCB said...

Well that's certainly an improvement. Watching this film, I always heard a little voice telling me about all the problems the writers will have had to 'solve' to make any of this believable. I think it works better as a play.

garyh10 said...

I’m not a movie fan, and I did not see this movie, but this review, with its satire and irony made me want to go back and at least research it on the net. I’d say the critic’s assessment of the movie is dead-bang on, and his method of criticism was cutting without being brutal. Good job

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