Opens with little Jimmy in an old mansion.
Jimmy? Thank goodness he changed his name to Wolverine.
Little Jimmy kills a stranger who is actually his father.
No that's not true that's impossible!
Search your feelings you know it to be true.
Little Jimmy runs out into the night. The film goes into a montage of Jimmy and Victor fighting in several wars. Despite the illogical decision of not air dropping this invincible pair into Berlin to end the war, this is very entertaining. In fact we would like to see more. Instead this is followed by15 minutes of Wolverine chopping wood in Canada.
I'm so happy, even with the nightmares. Sorry about almost stabbing you in my sleep though.
That's OK darling. It's a shame I don't have any telepathic powers that could stop your nightmares and keep me from harm.
Kayla gets 'killed' by Sabretooth. Wolverine screams no as the camera pulls away from him. The audience tries to forget this as quickly as possible.
Your not powerful enough to defeat Sabretooth, so lets stick some metal on your bones and hope you don't die. It is the same metal we stole from that village we slaughtered, but there's no need to feel the guilt you felt back then.
Sure no problem. I would also like to change my name to Wolverine.
Good idea Jimmy.
Wolverine has his entire skeleton covered in adamantium in just 3 minutes.
That was quick. Right now wipe his memory.
Wouldn't it have been better to do that before making him invincible?
Wolverine hears Stryker underwater, and escapes naked. Because Director Gavin Hood is worried he isn't doing enough to please the female audience.
Hunt him down.
You want me to shoot down a man who we've just made impervious to bullets?
Your not holding back any adamantium bullets from me are you? I don't want to sound paranoid but a name like Zero doesn't do much for my self esteem.
No, no of course not.
OK, what could go wrong?
Wolverine runs across Mr and Mrs Kent on their farm.
Thanks for feeding and clothing me, even though I'm clearly dangerous. Still I can't be as scary as that Marland Brando head that keeps trying to talk to me.
Yeh I can't get him to shut up. Here have my sons old jacket he prefers wearing red capes these days.
Zero comes to kill Wolverine but apparently having metal on your bones also makes your muscles stronger.
Wow this film sure has a lot of action.
Director Gavin Hood
I'm trying to make sure it's not as boring as Watchmen.
Thank you, thank you!
I can't believe you killed that old couple. Still at least I got a nice bike out of it.
Director Gavin Hood decides its time for a boxing match to show Wolverine as the plucky under dog.
Sigh, just show us Gambit already.
I was just put into the trailer to excite the loyal fans. I'm not at all important to the film.
Why on earth did you interrupt my fight? I could have killed Sabretooth.
Good question, I'd better help you to make up for it.
They go to Strykers research island. Where a bunch of mutants with poor motives are helping him.
Your wife is not dead.
Cool, I mean oh I'm so conflicted.
Wolverine frees the over mutants among them is Cyclops.
Hooray screen time! At last I get to do something useful.
Shhh don't say anything within the earshot of Cyclops.
Oh yeah sorry.
Stryker sends a remote controlled Deadpool to kill Wolverine.
I have the powers of ten mutants. However I've lost my original power of super fast reflexes.
Lucky for us.
You've come to help me brother?
I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on. Lean on me.
Well could you define your character please? I don't want you trying to kill me again in the next movie.
Aren't you worried that all this fighting could cause a Chernobyl like disaster.
I'm pretty sure this film is set before 1989.
That isn't very reassuring.
Wolverine and Sabretooth defeat Deadpool. Sabretooth jumps down from the tower apparently causing him to become mute and forget Wolverine is his brother.
You should wipe the droids... I mean Sabretooth's memory as well.
Director Gavin Hood
Don't I need to have an explanation for that?
Nah. Stryker shoots Wolverine with Adamantium bullets somehow knowing this will cause amnesia.
Wolverine wakes up with amnesia but no other brain damage. He forgets Kayla and so does the audience.
But I'm the only one who has any idea who you are.
Don't complicate things. Besides I think the mystery could really work for my character. Until people see this movie anyway.
Scott I want you to become a pupil at my school. Thankfully your eyes are bandaged, so you don't see me looking like Gollum. Even my mental powers can't comprehend why they didn't just show the back of my head.
Thanks a lot! This has brought my character full circle as well. I was really hoping for my own origins movie.
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